Unhealthy Coping Strategies
Today’s journal entry is from page 17 in The Balanced Mind -A Mental Health Journal- Exploratory Prompts and Effective Practices by Carolyn Mehlomakulu, LFMT-S, ATR-BC.
Unhealthy coping strategies need to be looked at because it is possible to find new, healthy coping mechanisms which can improve my mental health. What are some of my unhealthy coping strategies? I isolate myself when things get bad, and I know why I do it, at least in part. I isolate because I feel as though it protects others from what I have going on, as well as I just do not feel like communicating with others or even interacting. Generally, it is due to my depression, anxiety, or sensory issues that I isolate. I could defend it, but in reality I know that all isolation does is let me wallow in despair and self-pity. It does not help me or anyone around me.
I used to drink too much. I no longer drink because of medications, and of course because I knew I was using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism. It numbed me, it allowed an escape from whatever was happening. It did not serve me well, I learned at one point that my liver enzymes were elevated and that I had early signs of fatty liver. That woke me up, I actually thought I was an alcoholic and turned to AA for ways to get through it. Am I an alcoholic? Possibly. Does it matter now? No, I just don’t drink. On the other hand, I have replaced those drinks with medical marijuana (MMJ). In the right situations the MMJ can ease my anxiety, help lift my mood, or just give me the space to calm down. In the wrong situations, I smoke until nothing bothers me, or I fall asleep. It is the same pattern of me and drinking. More proof that I have addiction issues? Or is it proof that I just have underlying mental health issues that I attempt to escape? It does not matter, it’s a poor coping strategy. It affects my memory, if I smoke too much I can’t function properly, which helps nothing at all.
What can I do differently? I can use my new embroidery kit which is a very zen skill, I can use mindfulness, or breathing techniques, or possibly even grounding techniques that are far healthier for my mind, body, and relationships. I gain minimal positives, or no positives, with my negative coping strategies. Sadly, I tend to lie to protect myself, get out of a bad situation, or to feel better. That hurts my relationships and serves no good. I also have a tendency to chew my nails or the skin on my fingers. This is dangerous in any year, but it is especially dangerous during a Pandemic that has killed hundreds of thousands of fellow citizens. I used to read as an escape, and suddenly I struggle to do it. I also argue and pick fights. Why? It distracts from the feelings and allows me to misdirect my emotions onto someone or something else. Again, detrimental to relationships.
I am working on finding new coping strategies, but meditation seems to be offering me the most hope, particularly when combined with yoga in the same day. Finding new hobbies that are affordable is proving difficult with OCD, I fear mistakes or not doing well, and that leaves me afraid to start embroidering despite having a real interest. It is a challenge, to put it bluntly, it sucks. However, progress is important, and I am making really important progress in my life.
