Paying Attention to the Exceptions
Today, on page 23 of the journal The Balanced Mind -A Mental Health Journal- Exploratory Prompts and Effective Practices by Carolyn Mehlomakulu, LMFT-S, ATR-BC, I am focusing on the “moments of positive emotions or things that are going well” (p. 23). This is a hard one for me lately, I just had a very serious mood change with my Bipolar Depression that made me fall apart while working. I’m not recovered from it yet, nor will I ever be free of these moments, but finding ways to cope with them is more important than ever. I was overwhelmed with my depression, with despair, and with anxiety. It’s not over yet either, but I need to remember that even during this there are good moments. Every time I take a deep breath and focus on my breath I am giving myself time to pause and start a new moment mindfully, with reduced anxiety, and increased clarity.
So, what are a few examples of these times when I felt better? What made these moments “good” moments? First, when my husband grabbed my hand and held it during yoga, that melted away all the negative emotions, bringing me into a moment of pure happiness, real love. I needed the yoga, but I needed that gesture more than anything at the time. There are often times when either or both of my dogs plop themselves next to me and demand my attention. They don’t care what I am thinking about, obsessing over, or feeling. They just know I need love, they give it to me, and of course they receive it. That happened the other day during this breakdown, and it was a reminder of why I am alive. My meditations always help me feel good, or at the very least they help me feel better. It is hard to think of a moment where my brain is so calm, my thoughts stop racing, and I can just be. I try to meditate daily, but I really want to try meditating during those hard times so that I find a good moment amidst the bad.
What is the connection with these? They do not fix everything, instead they distract my often obsessive brain. It takes the thoughts to a new place, or they stop the thoughts like meditation and yoga both do for me. Walking by myself or with my husband offers the same opportunity, sometimes walking the dogs is stressful for dog reasons that are beyond my control. However, these moments that take me out of what I am obsessing over help me calm down. It does not relieve the “crap,” but it helps reduce anxiety, change my thought patterns, and redirect me. I am hyper aware of the bad moments, almost anticipating, it is time to make a practice of creating the good moments and celebrating them!
